Interviewed on HLN’s Raising America, Angela addresses the issues of child sexual abuse and the solutions of prevention and healing.

Video Transcript:

Christi Paul: How are you? a year and a half later?

Child: Since this happened, it's just, it keeps popping up in my mind, like ads pop up on the computer. It pains me that after a year, I'm still hurting.

Dad: I'd be lying if I said I wasn't angry anymore. I thought I'd be further along than this.

Mom: It's not easy. There's a loss, in a lot of ways. My children have lost their grandparents. My children have lost their innocence. My husband lost his relationship.

Child: Knowing that I can trust them, it makes me feel stronger. And it's like my parents are my weapons. They help. They help and fight for me.

Reporter: Wow! We're still talking about Christ's interview with 11 year old Brianne Hill. Talking publicly, you see there with her parents, about the sexual abuse that she suffered. All hoping. I guess, with the hopes, to help younger victims.

But yeah, they've got to have some amazing counseling.

Christi Paul: They have counseling. And I wanna point out. I think the big take away for me was how we talk, how we react to our kids when they tell us something like this.

There's a huge fork in the road. Because that shapes them. That tells them whether we value them. That tells them whether they are important.

The first thing they did, said “I believe you”. That was huge to her.

So, we have Angela here, because Angela is with VoiceToday.org. You know what it's like. You have lived with abuse yourself. Help us understand what are the three things we need to do, first and foremost, if our child comes to us with this?

Angela Williams: Well obviously, it's one of the most difficult things that you're gonna hear from your child. And you wanna drive the situation. So, for especially the moms that are listening. I have a great acronym, and it's C.A.R.

You want to remain Calm and Collected. In your first response is to panic. Your stomach is doing flips. But your child needs to know that you are calm, and you're collected. Cause otherwise they'll begin to respond to you, and not want you to feel pain.

Christi Paul: And they'll shut down.

Angela Williams: They'll shut down. So, we want to take some deep breaths.

Christi Paul: OK, so calm.

Angela Williams: Calm for C.

A is to Affirm. We wanna thank them for telling. We want to affirm their decision. They've done the right thing. This is too big of a burden to carry alone. And that you are a safe person and you're gonna protect them.

So, we have C, to remain calm. A, to affirm the child. And R is, reflective listening.

We are not investigators. We are not forensic examiners. So, we don't want to take that testimony in anyway. So, we wanna use reflective listening. We wanna hear what the child has to say. And then we wanna repeat it back, and just say, “tell me more”.

Darren Kavinoky: So they know that they're heard. You know, one of the most powerful things.

Reporter: They did that

Christi Paul: That's what I mean.

Reporter: Yes, and “I believe you”. And he also didn't beat his father to a living pulp.

Christi Paul: And he said that was by the grace of God. He said.

Darren Kavinoky: Yeah, and you know what was so powerful about that story? What we know, that people are as sick as their secrets. And to be able to take something that they were told. OK, this secret. And to be able to go public with that, it's an amazingly powerful place.

The seemingly worse things that happen to us, can be an access to helping so many people.

Angela Williams: Look at this model. Look at the model. We now have in the public media a model, for how to deal with the sexual abuse. And it's not to keep it hidden.

Darren Kavinoky: That’s right.

Christi Paul: Right! And to expose it, which they did. And that lifts that burden off of them. And the other thing we have to understand is, sexual predators are an entirely different breed of criminal.

Angela Williams: Exactly.

Christi Paul: Why? What are the three red flags, we as parents need, to watch for? That would bring this, hit this home.

Angela Williams: They are chameleons. They are gonna ingratiate themselves into the lives, into our lives.

93% of the time that someone the child knows, the child loves, the child trusts.

So, what we want to do is, we want to look. There again, I have a little acronym, CAD.

We wanna look for a Change in behavior in the child that we cannot explain.

We wanna Ask some questions and look at the people in that child's life, their sphere of influence.

We wanna see who wants to constantly be aligned with our child. Who wants to take them to ice cream? Who wants to tutor? Who wants to constantly babysit?

Darren Kavinoky: In an inappropriate way

Angela Williams: In an inappropriate way.

And then we want to look at Discomfort. Who was the child uncomfortable with?

Darren Kavinoky: The kids have a feeling.

Angela: They have a gut feeling. And ask them, why?

Christi Paul: It's amazing. This family is, outstanding.

Reporter: Well the subject is one we gotta keep talking about it. And there's so many things to talk about.

If you want to learn more about ways to address these very sensitive conversations with your kids be sure to check out Angela’s foundation over at VoiceToday.org.

Angela, you're a wonderful person. And Christi, you're the only one thank you have done that interview with such grace.

And up next, our Raising America Predator Test. Preventing our biggest fear as a parent, abduction. What you need to know.